The Exchange Theory

 I consider love, respect, acceptance, good physical appearance, marriage, equal division of labour and money to be rewarding. In applying the exchange theory to my family I realize that often times I feel as though the exchange in this relationship is not equitable but one- sided. My partner is very lazy and in order to get him to assist with chores in the house I have to quarrel all time. Usually after a quarrel he will make effort in pulling his weight but after a few weeks he will go back to the lazy attitude. I now have to wonder if this is resulting from the fact that women are expected to be performing all the household chores. Despite this problem I now realize that I remain in this relationship because the other rewards outweigh the cost of his laziness.

Similarly I have a friend who got married immediately after graduating from college and they have a 2 years old son. In her relationship the husband will cheat on her repeatedly with several women, most of them she knows. It often causes her to be depressed and she still remains in the relationship because she is unemployed and she views her marriage and family life as rewarding. In essence because she is dependent on him she has little power in the relationship which causes him to abuse her emotionally.

I like this theory because I believe that there should be equity or fairness in the relationship. No one person should have to bear all the burden or responsibilities. If you are unable to assist with the proper functioning of the family in one way you should be able to contribute in another way. Once both partners agree on what is fair then the relationship will be able to thrive.