The Exchange Theory

Defined as that framework which explains how individuals develop within the famil  context. It refers to the principle where individuals enter into relationships where they can get maximum benefits but they in turn gives back very little.

It also explains how individuals use their personal resources as a powerful tool to get what they want. eg. Roy is a young lawyer who drives an expensive vehicle, he uses that as power invested in him to ask Jane to go out with him on a date. Jane is this ordinary charming young girl who has very limited resources. Roy does not expect Jane to refuse him because of his job and his expensive vehicle. Roy is also anticipating he will get something in the end, eg. a hug , this would be the exchange of reward.

Exchange of rewards and costs shapes power and influence in families. It can be material or non material. A good example is household tasks perform by family members which are beneficial to other family members. The family members who perform these tasks are looked up to by other family members to do these tasks.

The theory also explains that relationships which carry equal weight will grow and last longer than those where there is an imbalance eg. father  helping with house hold chores such as ironing, cooking and even washing up dishes helps to make mother happy.

Then there is the “Principle of least Interest” This refers to individuals who are in relationship and are not committed to the relationship tend to exploit their partner. They bring a lot of hurt to their partner because they cheat, lie, and make a lot of excuses.

The theory also states “money is power” this explains the fact that an individual who has money anything is possible for him to do or get.

Exchange Theory

 The exchange theory speaks about benefits or rewards versus cost. With this theory reward is always greater than the cost. Individuals always look for the something that will cost him or her less as in it will cost no pain however, the reward will be exceed the cost. For example Fay is with Ray and Ray is a freak as we Jamaicans would say. He has weird fetishes. He would come home and tell Fay to get into bed and he would defecate on her( this is known as the hot plate). The reward Fay gets for this is a BMW van, a huge house, takes the plane like a bus and credit cards to maximize. Fay’s reward is greater than the cost. All this is costing her is to have Ray defecate on her.

 Individuals are always compelled by their choice to carry out what is expected of them. Persons will feel obligated to continue in a relationship because they expect something in return for what they are giving and in truth we all expect to get something when we give something. I like this theory because this is how I feel that if I give you something I should get something in return. It is just like the barter system; the exchange of goods or services for something of similar value or less. It is just like all relationships women exchange sex for money whether it is directly or indirectly.

  Humans are rational beings and we will always compare ourselves with others. I for one is guilty of this. I will look at my relationship and compare with other couples I come across. I would say why is it that you cannot spend any time with me and all the other persons I know are spending time with their wives. At time this will seems nagging but we women have to speak out. I believe that it is good to compare yourself with others as you will see your shortcomings and your strong points.

Exchange theory

Exchange theory

This theory states that people are motivated by self interest as no one wants to be in a relationship that punish or cost them but one that has benefits or rewards. In a relationship you have to learn to compromise. My husband will cook and do everything else in the house however when it comes to doing the dishes  and eating leftovers this is where we disagree however the benefits far outweighs the cost because at least he will help with other duties around the house.  

My cousin’s boyfriend oftentimes cheat on her however she doesn’t seem to care because at the end of the day she is getting a portion of his salary and her family is well taken care of. Although I might see that as a form of disrespect she is viewing the situation through a different lens. Persons are not going to readily give up on their relationship if they will be loosing someone or something of value.

This theory further suggests that humans are rational beings this is true however at times females especially make some irrational decisions because if you are being abused in a relationship and choose to stay because of religious or other reasons you deserve what you get. No matter how much the person say that they love, love doesn’t cause hurt or pain.  

This theory helps me to understand my relationship more and to appreciate my many blessings. In a relationship it is best to be fair and try to work things out and remember that you must treat persons the way that you would want to be treated.

The Exchange Theory

 I consider love, respect, acceptance, good physical appearance, marriage, equal division of labour and money to be rewarding. In applying the exchange theory to my family I realize that often times I feel as though the exchange in this relationship is not equitable but one- sided. My partner is very lazy and in order to get him to assist with chores in the house I have to quarrel all time. Usually after a quarrel he will make effort in pulling his weight but after a few weeks he will go back to the lazy attitude. I now have to wonder if this is resulting from the fact that women are expected to be performing all the household chores. Despite this problem I now realize that I remain in this relationship because the other rewards outweigh the cost of his laziness.

Similarly I have a friend who got married immediately after graduating from college and they have a 2 years old son. In her relationship the husband will cheat on her repeatedly with several women, most of them she knows. It often causes her to be depressed and she still remains in the relationship because she is unemployed and she views her marriage and family life as rewarding. In essence because she is dependent on him she has little power in the relationship which causes him to abuse her emotionally.

I like this theory because I believe that there should be equity or fairness in the relationship. No one person should have to bear all the burden or responsibilities. If you are unable to assist with the proper functioning of the family in one way you should be able to contribute in another way. Once both partners agree on what is fair then the relationship will be able to thrive.

The Exchange Theory

 I consider love, respect, acceptance, good physical appearance, marriage, equal division of labour and money to be rewarding. In applying the exchange theory to my family I realize that often times I feel as though the exchange in this relationship is not equitable but one- sided. My partner is very lazy and in order to get him to assist with chores in the house I have to quarrel all time. Usually after a quarrel he will make effort in pulling his weight but after a few weeks he will go back to the lazy attitude. I now have to wonder if this is resulting from the fact that women are expected to be performing all the household chores. Despite this problem I now realize that I remain in this relationship because the other rewards outweigh the cost of his laziness.

Similarly I have a friend who got married immediately after graduating from college and they have a 2 years old son. In her relationship the husband will cheat on her repeatedly with several women, most of them she knows. It often causes her to be depressed and she still remains in the relationship because she is unemployed and she views her marriage and family life as rewarding. In essence because she is dependent on him she has little power in the relationship which causes him to abuse her emotionally.

I like this theory because I believe that there should be equity or fairness in the relationship. No one person should have to bear all the burden or responsibilities. If you are unable to assist with the proper functioning of the family in one way you should be able to contribute in another way. Once both partners agree on what is fair then the relationship will be able to thrive.

Exchange Theory. What are your thoughts?